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Post by Amber Carr on Jan 4, 2007 3:49:09 GMT -5
"Its been two months and I thought everything was mostly okay..." I hissed, my features twisted into an agitated appearance.
"I do not fucking get whats so wrong... You were FINE before, at least you looked it! Thats why I thought it would be okay to leave now! Damn it." I kicked the wall and turned to face it, trying to catch my cool but finding it impossible.
"Why the heck are you being like this? Why can't I just leave for a little and come back?! I NEED SOME TIME TO BREATHE, ED. You're being selfish!" I shook my head like an angry animal and my fist hit the wall, my torso flying around to face her again.
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Post by Ashley Carr on Jan 4, 2007 3:53:48 GMT -5
"Calmed down!? Yeah, sure....randomly liquefying at least twice a day. That's SOOOO CALM," I growled.
"I LOOKED fine. I LOOKED fine....YOU. WERE. HERE. Of course I LOOKED fine...I WAS fine when you weren't FUCKING THREATENING TO TAKE OFF ON ME!"
"You're the one who's being selfish...you're trying to abandon me in the middle of THIS. If all you wanted was tyime to your precious little self, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T IT WAIT UNTIL I DO NOT NEED, YES, NEED[/B] YOU HERE!? WHY CAN'T YOU PUT IT OFF UNTIL I DO NOT NEED SUPPORT FROM YOU, HUH!?"
"Again, you tell me...HOW. THE FUCK. DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE THIS!? 'Oh yeah, sure, you go ahead and leave me alone for god knows how long while I continue to try and adjust to being just like one of our worst enemies while you go off and do whatever the hell your little mind desires. That's just GREAT.' Is THAT what you wanted, or WHAT!?"
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Post by Amber Carr on Jan 4, 2007 3:59:06 GMT -5
I felt more tears knock against my eyes and let them fall, too hurt to care.
"You know I've always been there for you and sacrificed what I want and what I need just to be with you. You know that. Not once have I ran off on you. Only reason I'm leaving now is I thought everything was fine. I mean - you could drop a fucking hint instead of hiding everything from me - Like you always fucking do." I turned and kicked the wall again, shaking my head for the forth time and feeling an angered smile stretch across my lips.
"Why can't I just once... just ONCE... go take time to clear my head? You have everyone else here!"
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Post by Ashley Carr on Jan 4, 2007 4:03:38 GMT -5
"That's just it...you've ALWAYS been here. ALWAYS. What am I supposed to think if you suddenly decide you want to just take off and abandon me, huh!? YOU TELL ME THAT!? WHAT. DID. YOU. WANT. ME. TO. THINK!?" I shouted.
"You sound like I've never done that for you....if it weren't for me doing that for you, I'd probably have two arms right now. But apparently, that means nothing....'just this once,' you want to leave, because you thought for some BEYOND IDIOTIC REASON, I WAS FINE WITH ACCIDENTALLY LIQUEFYING MORE THAN ONCE EVERY FUCKING DAY!"
"Like I said...I WAS fine....I WAS. UNTIL you went and did THIS....WHAT, exactly, made you think I would be fine WITHOUT you THIS FUCKING SOON!?"
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Post by Amber Carr on Jan 4, 2007 4:08:31 GMT -5
I was about to explode from emotions, my tongue tied and not allowing me to speak further. I didn't know what to do - what to say anymore. Why can't she just let me leave?! She'll be FINE - she has everyone else around!
"Did you ever think that this isn't stressful on me too?! HUH? Why are you doing this?! I thought everything was okay! I'm not lying. This trip has been planned for months and I thought I could actually take it without problems. I know I'm an idiot but HELL - just let me go! Its not even going to be that long!"
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Post by Ashley Carr on Jan 4, 2007 4:13:26 GMT -5
"Oh, yeah. I'm soooooo clueless to the fact that you're stressed out. Because we ALL know that the times I stayed around to support you were just a fucking cake walk, right!? And now you expect me to believe that it's been planned since before it happened. SUUUURRREE. I BELIEVE THAT, YEAH." I shouted, wanting nothing more than to get up and punch her.
"IF YOU WANT TO GO SO BADLY, THEN BY ALL MEANS, JUST FUCKING GO. JUST DO US BOTH A FAVOR -- DON'T COME BACK! That's what you want, isn't it?"
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Post by Amber Carr on Jan 4, 2007 8:39:12 GMT -5
Out of everything she had said, that hurt the most and made me the most angry. The words vibrated in my ears, bringing both more anger and more tears as everything continued bottling up. I didn't know what to do then - I sort of just lost it.
"YEAH." I shouted, my voice raising to a new extent, eyes hard with raw emotion as I spat out the word. I stomped into the living room and kicked and pushed at the furniture, toppling over a chair, unable to really control what I was doing. I had too much excess anger... And it was coming out in the wrong way. I rarely ever get this angry, and when I do - I just don't know how to stop. Yet no regret puddled around me as I swung my arms around frantically, my expression true to my angered mind.
"I'LL FUCKING DO JUST THAT." I flipped my arm to hit a few knickknacks off random locations in the room and then turned to the couch side tables, feeling my hands cause something to fall. I had no clue what it was, and was too pissed off to care.
"You don't have to worry about me anymore..." I practically laughed, so hurt and angry that something just... snapped. I couldn't stop myself from laughing and crying, having no clue if I was crying from frustration or how bad I was offended anymore...
"I won't have to flippin' stay around all the time and I'll do what ever I want. YEAH. I'll do just that!" I repeated, speed walking back to my room, slamming the door as hard as I could as I entered. I was so mad I had entered a blind fury both physically and mentally, and I quickly made up my mind.
I grabbed my bag, put it back in my closest and grabbed the tickets from my drawer, almost ruining them with the tears that were still rapidly falling. Tonight I will leave... I'll get the hell out of here. Away from everyone.... away from her....
And I won't be coming back...
[AMBERSMAASSSHHH.....SorryIjusthadtosaythat. XD;]
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Post by Ashley Carr on Jan 4, 2007 13:12:13 GMT -5
"I needed my SISTER around....not this uncaring asshole you're being....if this is how it is, then I don't WANT you around!" I continued to scream.
"After everything I've done....after everything we've promised each other....I'm not important enough for you to put off your little trip. Thanks for letting me know how much you care..." I sobbed, grabbing one of her bags, nearly crushing it in rage.
"Let me help you with that!" I shouted, rushing to the front door and throwing it out into the yard.
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Post by alyson on Jan 4, 2007 13:15:29 GMT -5
I walked up the path leading to Raven's and Amber's house. It was strange--even though I knew Raven's real name, I still called her that. Maybe it's because I've become so accustomed to that for a long time. The wind blew gently at my hair, but I could feel a slight tension in the air, yet I could not decipher what or where that tension came from. Suddenly, I sensed an aura that reeked of bitterness and anger. Realizing that it was coming from inside my friends' house, I inched closer and closer to the door. Suddenly, the door opened, and Raven threw some bags out into the yard. I was shocked; the expression on her face was hurt and anguish. I didn't even know how to respond to that--all I could do was watch.
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Post by Amber Carr on Jan 4, 2007 13:33:50 GMT -5
I watched the bag fly out the door and growled, sealing my mouth shut to avoid going over the edge. I wanted so badly to say a few words, but something kept me from saying them.
I walked out of the front door and turned around, faking a happy smile and lifting up my middle finger, still too enraged to really control myself.
"Buh-bye..." My voice has a strange ring to it... one that would of normaly scared me but, given the situation, I could care less. I turned and began to run down the road, heading for the cheapest inn that I could think of. As bad as I wanted to leave tonight, I knew I couldn't... I already missed the train that leaves for where I need to go. The other wouldn't be leaving until tomorrow night, late at night...
It then occurred to me that I would need to find some inn I didn't know of, so they couldn't find me. What I knew is their knowledge too. And it would have to be pretty far away...
I growled and quickened my pace, not wanting to stop with every fiber in my body.
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Post by Ashley Carr on Jan 4, 2007 13:35:48 GMT -5
"If somehow, the nice, caring, not SELFISH AS HELL you comes back....then by all means, I'll welcome you back. But if this is you now, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" I shouted, making my way toward the front gate. My hands clenched into fists as I held back a loud sob.
I turned my head and noticed Alyson standing there, and just wanted to scream.
"Hello," I whimpered through clenched teeth, then quickly began running toward town.
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Post by alyson on Jan 4, 2007 13:38:12 GMT -5
Before I could say anything, Raven had already rushed into town, leaving me standing there, shocked and helpless. I had no idea what was going on.
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Post by Amber Carr on Jan 4, 2007 13:44:43 GMT -5
My breaths were shallow and heavy by the time I had reached a decent distance from the house. I didn't dare stop, too motivated and angry to let aching muscles damper my pace. Any tears that still fell quickly faded into the air, dried before they even got to my cheek.
I began turning my head to look around, searching the buildings for an inn or motel - anything cheap. I had to search another thirty minutes before I found what I was looking for, and paid the keeper with some of the money I had packed.
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Post by Ashley Carr on Jan 4, 2007 14:01:54 GMT -5
I ran down to the nearest mini mart, reaching into my pocket and watching as people entered. Finally, I found someone who looked just dumb and drunk enough to fool.
"Hey....I was going in to buy a case of beer, but I seem to have lost my ID...could you run in and do it for me?" I asked, holding out the money.
"You're really 21, right?" he asked, before taking the money.
"Yeah, just turned 21 last week. Not exactly an expert on beer yet...just get me whatever's cheap, that's what I've been doing," I said, handing over the money and waiting for the man to return. I hated myself for what I was doing, I knew it was stupid....but at this point, I didn't care. I just didn't care.
"Thanks..." I said as the man returned. He tried to hand me my change, but I told him to keep it....I didn't know if I was even gonna be around to use it for long, anyway. What would it matter if I lived or died, if my own sister hated me? Was upset that I KNEW she hated me?
I disappeared into the nearest alley, not even wanting to return home....not after what happened.
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Post by alyson on Jan 4, 2007 14:05:12 GMT -5
Not knowing what else to do, I turned and headed for home--it seemed like I couldn't do anything about the situation I knew nothing about, anyway.
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Post by naruaizawa on Jan 4, 2007 14:11:42 GMT -5
I went into town to buy myself some food. After leaving the market, I headed home to cook myself dinner. Upon passing an alley, I sensed Raven's presence there. Yet her presence felt a bit...strange.
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Post by Amber Carr on Jan 4, 2007 14:15:03 GMT -5
I made my way to my room and laid down on the bed, still too angry and frustrated to think properly. That did not go as planned... why does she have to fucking be like that?! Why did this have to do downhill so damn fast?!
All I could think about was getting as far away from everyone as possible. I needed to get out... I have to. She doesn't want me around anyways... and I don't want her around either. I flipped over on my other side and cursed under my breath, closing my eyes, knowing sleep wouldn't come easy but I had to try.
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Post by Ashley Carr on Jan 4, 2007 14:54:57 GMT -5
"So....so she said to me....you know what she said to me? She told me, in the middle of all this, she had it planned long before...and apparently, her precious little trip is more important than supporting her own sister...through THIS," I laughed, transforming my hand. The water splashed to the ground, causing me to laugh even harder.
"Just like one of our worst enemies....and somehow, that idiot expects me to believe this had nothing to do with it..."
It didn't bother me at all that I was spilling some of my biggest secrets to some random stranger...it felt good to say it, and we were already both drunk enough to forget by the next day...or think we hallucinated it.
It had only been 15 minutes, but I had already chugged down half the case. I felt sick...and I learned I DESPISE the taste of beer...but again, I didn't care. I knew I was screwing myself up....but I still didn't care if I lived or died. Whatever happened...it didn't matter.
Suddenly, my vision cleared a little, and I looked at who I was talking to.
"Wait....you're not a person....you're a log. Haha...you're a good listener, anyway," I laughed, pushing myself up and taking the rest of the case with me. I pushed myself up over the wodden fence beside me, a little disappointed that I was still coordinated enough to do so...even when I got over and fell flat on my face.
"Sorry, log, but I'm gonna go find someone else to talk to...no offense or anything, like I said, you're a great listener..but I wanna talk to someone who can...you know, talk back..."
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Post by Amber Carr on Jan 4, 2007 15:12:49 GMT -5
When sleep refused to come, I pulled out the tickets to board the train I was to ride and bit my lip, passing them back and forth between both of my hand's grasp. I then looked closer and noticed that I had misread the boarding time, gasping and shooting up as I did. I had to leave tonight! There wasn't a train at all leaving tomorrow - it was tonight I had gotten confused over.
I let out a loud growl and quickly gathered my things, darting out of the room and down the hall.
"Hello... Can I have a map of the city?" I asked the keeper, who looked at me strangely.
"Miss, its late at night if you hadn't noticed, and you paid to stay here -"
"I misread my boarding ticket. I have to leave now." He frowned and pointed to a small stand in the corner, which carried both maps and newspapers.
"I'm guessing you'll want your money back." I grunted in response, walking over to fetch a map. I turned back and took back my money, avoiding from looking at his puzzled expression.
"Thanks..." I walked out and began darting down the street, looking at the map and noticing I was about 30 minutes away from the station on foot. The train leaves in a hour. I hissed in frustration and caused my legs to move faster.
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Post by naruaizawa on Jan 4, 2007 15:14:27 GMT -5
"Rae, who are you talking to?" I sweatdropped as I appeared before her. Seeing a log next to her, I sweatdropped even more.
"Um....are you okay?" My eyes then drifted to the bottle of beer in her hand, my hands flying to my mouth as I let out a surprised gasp. "Rae...have you been DRINKING?! If so...how much did you drink? The whole bottle?! You know you could kill yourself doing that!"
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